Friday, December 7, 2012

5 Reasons He Didn't Call

When after the first date, the guy doesn't call you again, it's time to figure out what the main reasons might be that you're not hearing from him. Facing this situation head on can be difficult. Anything that makes a person take a long look in the mirror is difficult, yet making an honest effort to determine the answers to this question may prevent it from happening again.

You believe that you both had a good time, or potentially what you might call a "great" time. You have looked at every aspect of the entire evening; you still have no idea why he's not calling you. There are many possible answers to this dilemma, but here are just a few of them that might "fit" your situation:

1. You talked too much, or conversely, you didn't talk enough.

Are you a good listener? Monopolizing the conversation can convey to the guy that you don't really care what he thinks. He may believe that you're too aggressive or an "air-head.". Maybe you talked too much out of a sense of nervousness, but he doesn't know this. Date two may have told him this. Talking too little may say to him that you're not really interested in what he's talking about. He may have been left with the impression that the two of you don't have anything in common. Talking and listening are the ways people get to know each other. That fact places a very heavy burden on first date conversations.

2. Being too attentive to his needs, his conversation, his "whatever" may really put him off.

He may feel that your desire is too great, and he can't handle it. The truth may be that you do care, and he doesn't. These are the things that can sometimes be difficult to accept. Looking back over the date will tell you if you were "advancing" too soon. You have too much desire for the relationship; he doesn't have enough.

3. He may date a lot of girls, and you are really no one "special".

This isn't your fault. It is nothing that you did or didn't do. It is all about "who he is." Many gals expect it to be something they said or did, and it just isn't. It's good to detect this sooner than later. That way, you don't waste your time even thinking about it. There are better places to put your energy to work.

4. You may be a secure person, and he's not.

This usually creates "bad vibes" and a vast distance between two people. Apparently, this is not the time when opposites attract. It is better when both of you are confident and somewhat outgoing.

5. There is no real attraction between the two of you.

The "chemistry" just isn't there. Haven't you at times enjoyed a date without feeling drawn to that person? Maybe he just wants to be friends and doesn't know how to say it. He may be afraid of hurting your feelings. Maybe he was really attracted to you and doesn't know how to handle that truth "in the light of day." Maybe he doesn't know how he feels. He may be afraid of being hurt.

There are so many reasons that the guy doesn't call back. It is good to have an introspective moment or two, but don't obsess on it. If you have fallen that hard for him, call him and check out the atmosphere. Call and tell him that you enjoyed the date. If you didn't enjoy the date, then don't make it an issue. Know when to let go.

Emily Silvertone writes for Peachy London - a site dedicated to love, life and sensuality. 

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